Flawed
by PrincipalCellist
Summary: /What's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?/
1. Fear is The Heart of Love

I've always wanted to try doing a story like this, but I was held back because I, most of the time, do not like the idea of incest. Nevertheless, I'm writing it anyway, just so I can say I tried. If you don't like the idea of Atem and Yugi being brothers, then you should go. That's all I really have to say. Thanks.

* * *

"Atem, meet your brother:Yugi."

Seven years later, and I could still remember those words - that entire day - with a crystal clearness. I was twelve then, but I could still smell the apple scented candles burning on the table. Could still hear the slight tremor in my mother's voice as she introduced me to the product of my father's sordid love affair. I could even still see the dark, cloudy sky outside the window, the way it looks right before rainfall.

You see, my dad was a hard man to pin down. Give him an inch, and he would take a mile. And that was exactly what he did to my mother. Countless times. We've even had to move countries because of his recklessness; from my homeland of Egypt, to the crowded streets of Japan. And, alas, Japan was where my father decided to chase tail. Lots of it, too. Without my mother ever even knowing. Until - _boom_ \- one mistress of his became pregnant.

But I didn't blame Mrs. Motou for that at all. It wasn't her fault; she didn't know my father was married - or a dirt-bag. But eventually, like all great lies, she found out. And when she found out, she made sure my mom found out. Thus began my father's hell from both ends of his pathetic life. He wasn't able to get a moment of peace between the two vengeful women.

Now, fortunately, he was not in the picture, but, _unfortunately_ , neither was Mrs. Motou. (For two separate reasons, I assure you. Dad left, while Mrs. Motou was unfairly taken away in a car accident.) With no one else left in her family to take care of the child, Yugi (a small, quiet boy at the time) came to live with us. His next-of-kin.

Same dad, different moms. We were siblings.

As the years went by, we grew up as a real family. I was now 19, and he 18. But there was a deep, hidden part of me that didn't want Yugi as a sibling. Not because I was jealous of him, and not because I liked being an only child. It was because, from the moment I saw those purple eyes staring at me from behind my mother's leg, lightning had struck me.

Seven years later, and I learned everything anyone could ever want to know about Yugi. He was smart (always leaping at the opportunity to help me with homework), kind (he never left a person in need), and he believed in fairness and the good of everyone. I learned how he loved eating hamburgers, but hated that one soggy pickle that always was hidden in the bun. I learned that he never ate a handful of jellybeans, opting to eat and savor them one at a time. And he hated chickpeas and lima beans. And, I learned that he was cute - distressingly so, I may add. And, over time, I discovered exactly just how much I loved him.

But he was my brother.


	2. Don't Be a Weenie

I would like to point out that, normally, I don't make a habit of eavesdropping on Yugi. After all, listening to him talk for hours on the phone with his - quote/unquote - "girlfriend" was the last thing on my list of things I wanted to do. But, sometimes, you just end up in situations you didn't intend to be in.

"You know I don't think that, right?" I heard him say from his bedroom across the hall. I sighed from my spot on the bed, trying to focus more on my book and less on his airy voice. "...I would never think something like that." I rolled my eyes hard enough that it hurt, dropping the book against my chest and listening to him carry on: "I know... But I still love you." I cringed. He could be such a sap sometimes. He believed in the true happily ever after... And I knew he would do his damnedest to achieve it, even with the wrong girl. A complete hopeless romantic was he, and I dearly wished my mother hadn't let him watch and read so much of her romance junk when he was young. The stuff was poison.

"Anzu, I love you." He repeated, and I blinked my suddenly dry eyes. This had nothing to do with me, but the conversation was borderline pathetic - and it had happened so many times, I lost count. He had been dating Anzu for the past few months (I use the term "dating" very loosely, mind you), and he gladly did the things she wanted when the chance arose. He was constantly showering her with affection; she was beautiful, she was so funny, he couldn't believe how lucky he was - blah, blah, blah... He did it all, hoping to eventually get something in return. He would do anything for her love, but, in the end, it always went the same.

"She's not that into you..." I muttered to myself, wishing he would see it as well. I could just hear Anzu in my head on the other side, tucking her hair behind her ear, saying, "That's really sweet of you, Yugi. You always say the nicest things." My stomach turned and turned until I tasted bile in my throat.

Anzu was too busy thinking about her future to give Yugi what he needed, but she liked him enough to try to keep him with her. But if only she'd tell him that - tell him she didn't have time for a proper relationship, I mean. It would be less painful for him in the end. But no. She would rather go on with the teetering relationship they had rather than break his heart - and, for that, I couldn't be sure if I liked or disliked her.

"Bitch," I said under my breath, regardless. Yugi never shut his bedroom door when he was on the phone with Anzu, and I never could understand why. Maybe it was a unconscious plea for help - a signal that he needed his older brother to show him the light. As their conversation winded down, I decided that this time, I _was_ going to intervene. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't at least try?

"You know I love you, right?" He asked as I exited my room and padded across the hallway. I leaned against his door frame, arms folded, and waited for him to end the call. He glanced over at me with those deep eyes, and I pressed my lips together tightly, looking away. I made a conscious effort not to shake my head as I listened to him finish.

"I'll talk to you later," he replied, already scheduling his next round of defeat.

"Way to go, champ." I tried to force a supportive smile on my face. It felt awful, like pulling on a rubber band.

"Okay, Atem." He said, tossing his phone onto his blue bedspread. "What is it?"

I decided it would be better just to hit the ground running.  
"Do you think you're her only suitor?"

Yugi just shrugged, saying, "I'm the one she actually cares about." I tried to stop the choking noise coming from my throat. I casually strolled over to him and slapped his forehead with my palm. He playfully fell backward on his bed, pretending to have been knocked unconscious. Eventually he sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Okay. Lay it on me." He probably sensed that I was about to hit him with reality.

"Well, you're hopeless." I started off, matter-of-fact.

"Why? Because I'm in love?"

It made my blood boil to hear him say that.  
"غبى _..._ " I muttered darkly in my mother tongue.

"I heard that, and I resent it." Yugi replied, still staring at the ceiling.

"Yugi, do you even listen to yourself when you talk to her? Maybe next time I should record it for you."

"Of course I do."

"You told her you loved her, like, four times in that one conversation."

"So?"

"So, how many times did she say it back to you?"

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Yugi sat up and looked at me with those doe-eyes.  
"She has a lot going on right now. She has trouble expressing those kinds of things."

"You know she's not the only girl out there, right?"

"But I'm in lo-"

 _"NO!"_ I exploded before he could finish that God-awful sentence. "I don't think you know what love really is!" Yugi's eyes narrowed, and I tried to soften my tone. "Have you two been...intimate?" I already knew Yugi wasn't a virgin, so I don't know why I needed to know this information.

"We've kissed."

"Anything else?"

"Just a bit of touching. We're not rushing things."

I spoke gently, because I knew this piece of information would probably hurt him.  
"She didn't move slowly with her previous boyfriends, Yugi."

To my surprise, he didn't look hurt. But his tone stated different: "I know."

"...Look," I said haltingly, sitting down on the bed next to him. I reached out to touch his shoulder, but thought better of it, letting my hand fall down onto my leg instead. "I'm not trying to...belittle you or be mean. You just don't have a future with her. You guys are going in two different ways." I tightened my fists, forcing the words out. "I say this because I love you. As your brother."

"How can I make her understand?"

"I think she already does." I said, lifting one shoulder and letting it drop. "But it doesn't matter. She's too afraid to hurt you completely, so she plays along. Don't you see?" I felt horrible. I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy...but I also needed him to hear me out. Yugi turned his face away from me. He was upset. I was the one upsetting him. ' _Look at me, Yugi...'_ I silently pleaded, but he didn't. Apparently, the exchange between us had reached it's conclusion - most likely without my intended outcome. My heart thumped heavily against my rib cage and I got to my feet. "All I know is that you deserve better." I left it at that and walked out.

In my own room, door firmly shut, I lay on my bed and watched as my walls went from orange to purple as the sun set. I had always felt a slight contempt for how Yugi always rushed into love. He threw himself into the pit head-first with little regard to his own safety. And I envied the girls who caught his eye.

"Yugi!" I heard mom call from downstairs. Footsteps outside my door told me that Yugi had left his room. After a moment, having nothing better to do, I got up and followed.

"You have a letter from Cornell!" She said, waving a thick, white envelope at him. I sat on a stool in front of the counter, a front row seat to the show. Yugi took the envelope and ripped it open, pulling out the top paper. He read it silently, eyes widening. Then he read it again, and the smile I had wished for earlier made its way to his face.

"I got accepted." He said, almost a tone of disbelief.

"That is fantastic, الحبيب _ة_!" Mom exclaimed, looking like some kind of proud bird. Yugi slid the paper back into the envelope, his smile diminishing slightly.

"Where'd your excitement leak from?" I asked with a smirk. "Your ass?" I knew what was on his mind, and now mom would know, too. I needed back up, after all.

"Yugi?" Mom asked, placing her hand on top of his, her dark skin and his pale skin was a sharp contrast. "Are you not happy?"

I watched Yugi nibble his lip.  
"Well, let's see what other letters I get."

"But..." Mom started, confused, "this is the _big one_. You'll go to America! What else could you be waiting for?"

"Just ask him where Anzu is going to college." I suggested, trying to keep my voice free of any specific emotion.

Mom's shoulders sagged slightly, and she looked from Yugi to me.  
"No." She said in that disappointed mother tone.

"It's a good school, too..." He began in protest.

"For dancing and arts, yes. Not for Archaeology!" She trilled at him. I sighed. Yugi was a lucky one. Some people - like him, unlike me - knew exactly what they wanted, when they wanted it and were on the path to achieve it. To them, I said both "congratulations" and "you suck."

"Well," Yugi started edging away. "Maybe I can do something... _else_? I mean, it's not like there's much demand for it anyway..."

"Don't you _dare-_ -" My mother started off dangerously, "-ever, _never,_ give up doing what you really want to do for some... _some...!"_ My mother struggled for a second on her Japanese, finally tripping. _"عاهرة!"_ Yugi winced, but mom was not finished yet. "Especially one you've only been with for such little time! Never give up your dreams to follow anyone beside yourself! You... _you_...!" Words were failing her again, and she looked to me, expecting assistance.

"He won't listen to me." I informed her, staring at my hands. I had already tried. As much as I hated the thought of Yugi going to college in a place so far away, I hated the thought of him staying here just to follow Anzu even more. My mother stared hard at Yugi, shook her head in utter disappointment, and left the room, muttering strings of Arabic under her breath.

Yugi sunk into the stool next to mine, and an awkward silence filled the kitchen for a long time.

"You know..." I began lightly, "95% of relationships die in the first college semester."

He gave me a rueful grin.  
"You think I'm typical?"

My heart gave an erratic lurch. Yugi was anything but. I twisted my fingers together, knowing this was a good opportunity as any for me to tell Yugi what I really thought of him without it getting weird. "I think you are unaware of your potential." Is what I said. Cryptically, at that.

"Potential for what?"

"Where should I begin?"

"At the most basic part."

I swallowed, though my mouth was dryer than paper. I set my elbow on the counter, propping my head up.  
"Your potential for attractiveness." If that wasn't the most basic human thought, I didn't know what was.

He paused, regarding me seriously.  
"You think I'm attractive?"

"I didn't say that." I quickly covered. "I just said you have _potential_ for it."

"So, you think I'm attractive." He concluded, grinning.

"Moron." I said, turning away, hand still under my chin. "No one thinks a lame, hopeless romantic is attractive."

"Sure they do." He answered, playfully bumping my knee with his. I pretended not to notice.

"All I'm trying to say is that you would be a lot more respectable if you didn't try to kiss Anzu's ass so much." I chewed my lip, thinking. "What do you think would happen if you stopped showing her so much affection and waited for her to make the first move?"

"Don't girls _want_ to be lavished with attention?" Yugi asked, skeptical.

"Yugi, I'm _gay_ , not a female." I could feel him staring at me.

"Yeah, I know." He said. "But you hang out with a lot of girls, so..."

"I guess." I relented, feeling embarrassed. I could write a whole book on what girls said - how open they could _really_ be - after they realized you were gay.

"So, go on." He urged. "Enlighten me."

"I mean...it's nice to be treated well..."

"But?" Yugi prompted.

"I don't know, Yugi." I said, finally looking back at him. "Think of it like this: it's too much of a good thing. Most women want a man who respects himself. Someone who treats them right, but doesn't smother them."

"But if I don't give her a lot of attention, I'm afraid she'll not want me anymore."

I leaned closer to him, searching those wide eyes.  
"Doesn't that right there tell you something?"

"I know, it's just..." Yugi gave a frustrated sigh.

"There are other ways to turn on a girl other than just 'being nice'." I added in afterthought, tearing my eyes from his parted mouth.

"Like?"

"Like taking charge." I replied. "Command some respect. I mean, don't go overboard with it, of course - but enough to get the juices flowing, so to speak. If a situation arises where you need to take the lead, do it. Don't be a weenie."

"So, I should just grab an ass if I feel like it?"

"I mean...as long as the girl is okay with something like that - sure." I shrugged.

"Like this?" Yugi asked, reaching over and groping my backside. I sat straight up as if I were electrocuted, eyes flying to his. The warmth of his hand was nothing compared to the heat creeping up my neck. I didn't know how to react other than to stare at him. For a second, I was even sure I was asleep. There was no way Yugi had just seriously grabbed my behind. It _had_ to be one of my insane dreams.

But it wasn't, and once that fully set in, I quickly stood up, letting my chair scrape loudly against the tile.

"I-I meant...!" I stammered, trying to act as though his hand on my rear wasn't a big deal. "I meant for you to do that with Anzu!"

"Hm..." He hummed, staring at me. "I see."

Gathering myself, I gave him one long, cool look before moving out of the kitchen. In my hurry, I took the stairs two-by-two. Flinging myself into my room, I shut the door behind me with a loud snap. I pressed my back against the door, chest heaving.

I couldn't stop visualizing Yugi's hand on my ass. I couldn't stop the heat that was spreading from my face to my collarbones to my stomach - all the way down to my feet like wildfire. I slipped down the wood in anguish until I was squatting, head between my knees. I had an odd, deep settled feeling of arousal, and I wrapped my arms around my stomach, feeling sick. It was like drowning, but I just wouldn't die. Instead, I was suffocated day after day. Drifting lower and lower beneath the surface.

Despair filled my body until it was all I could do not to throw up from my self-disgust.


	3. How The Turns Have Tabled

I spent the following day at work making drinks, cleaning up tables and spills, dealing with unhappy customers, and, basically, reminding myself that this (my job) was exactly why I was getting a college education. When I got home, I found that Yugi had beaten me back and, ungracefully, crashed on the couch. I walked to the kitchen quietly and retrieved some water from the tap. I watched Yugi doze as I sipped from my glass.

He was really cute, lying there on his stomach like that. One arm and one leg were off the couch, brushing the carpeted floor. His other arm was curled under his head like a makeshift pillow. Each breath that came out of his parted lips ruffled the blonde hair that hung over his face. The urge to go and push the hair back came over me so suddenly, I choked on my water. I spun away from him, trying to cough quietly. As I struggled with air, Yugi's phone vibrated on the counter. Anzu had sent him a text.

I glanced over at Yugi quickly, and I saw that he hadn't stirred at all. Looking back to the phone, I was able to see the message before the screen went dark: "Not tonight. Miho is coming over."

There was only a slight moment of hesitation before I found myself thumbing his phone awake. He hadn't set up any kind of passcode, so getting in was easy. There were a lot of texts between him and Anzu, but all I was really looking for was the context for that last one she had sent - just a little insight on my brother's relationship...what could it hurt? I swiped down, finding the start of the conversation. I figured only looking at the bare minimum made the creepiness of me lurking on his phone less wrong.

In most basic terms, this was it:

Yugi: "Want to grab lunch?"  
Anzu: "I have to work after school."  
Yugi: "That's okay."  
Yugi, three hours later: "Will you call me tonight?"

Then came the reply I'd just seen flash on his phone, telling him her friend was coming over. But I knew, for a fact, that the only reason Miho was going to Anzu's house was to pick her up for a party. I had seen Honda, Miho's boyfriend, come into the shop for lunch just a few hours ago, and he had told me the plan. My innocent eavesdropping from before suddenly went full-on meddling as I considered what to do about the message from Anzu.

I had two options, and only two. Set the phone down and ignore that I'd ever seen the dilemma (the correct thing to do), _or_... I could text to Anzu what I thought Yugi should say. Though the right answer was clear, it wasn't what I wanted to do. I grappled with my conscience for five minutes straight, trying to decide which would make me a better person: respecting privacy, or helping someone I cared for.

Fuck it. I rationalized with myself; I was doing Yugi a favor.

Me: "I thought Miho was going to a party?" (Hesitated only one more second before pressing SEND.)  
Anzu, almost immediately: "What do you mean?"  
Me: "My brother mentioned it when he got home."  
Anzu: "What does he know?"  
Me, now grinning: "More than you think he does, obviously."  
Anzu: "What did he say?"

I looked over to Yugi again, making sure he was still asleep. I was being very intrusive, and I knew he was going to be upset with me, but I felt justified somehow. I would do anything to save him from a broken heart, whether he understood it or not.

Me: "Honda told him you all were planning on going to a party tonight. I really don't care. You're a big girl - you can do whatever you want. I don't own you."

There was a long pause before Anzu replied again.  
"Well...I'm going to the party with Miho."

Me: "Whatevs. Have fun."

And, like I predicted, it got to her.  
"Are you mad at me?"

Me: "Why would I be?"  
Anzu: "What are you doing tonight?" (She, no doubt, wanted to know if he was going to sitting at home and think about her.)  
Me: "Probably going to go out."  
Anzu, immediately: "Where? With who?"

There was a slightly evil smirk on my lips as I plugged his phone back into the charger and placed it on the counter. _'Not anywhere with you,'_ I thought, and that was that. The deed was done. I went upstairs to try and read, knowing I was only doing it to pass the time until I met my fate. It wouldn't be long before Yugi awoke and saw what I had done with his phone.

And, thus, as predicted, twenty minutes later my heart skipped a beat when I heard Yugi's voice yelling from downstairs. _"ATEM!"_ Truthfully, though I knew he would be upset, I wasn't expecting that kind of anger in his voice. Rough and white-hot. I bit my lip, already feeling ashamed.

After waiting a moment for an answer (that didn't come), he bounded up the stairs and barged into my room.  
"What the fuck!?" He said loudly and so quickly that it sounded like one word. _Whathefuck._

"I just-"

He thrust his phone a foot from my face, making me wince.  
"You have some serious boundary issues!" He yelled. "How am I going to fix this?"

"Don't." I said simply, eyes shifting from the phone to his face. "Just go with it."

His eyes flashed with something I wasn't used to seeing on his round face. Frustration. Not quite rage, but something close. He suddenly leaped at me, dropping his phone on the floor and knocking me back against my bed. I was taken by such complete surprise that I didn't even attempt to resist when he straddled my torso, sitting on my stomach so I was forced to stay down.

"Yugi, I just wanted t-"

"To completely mess with my love life!" He yelled, pinning my arms at my sides with his knees. It hurt, and I felt an odd flash of panic go through my veins, knowing he'd impaired me. I wasn't used to being held down - if anything, I was the one who pinned others. If his goal was to make me feel remorse for my meddling, he had succeeded. With flying colors. I stared up at him, at a loss of what to say. Even as kids, I was always the one who lost my calm, but now... I had pushed him too far, and I was at his mercy.

"What makes you think you can just pick up someone's phone and start texting people?" He asked, bracing his hands on either side on my head so we were looking eye to eye. His were alight with fire. "It's straight up deviant, Atem!"

In contrast to his volume, I had no reply. He was right, after all. I knew it had been wrong to mess with his phone, but I did it anyway. And any excuse I gave him for my reasoning for it would not be good enough. I turned my head to the left, slightly pursing my lips. Trying to think of the right thing to say that would put me in a good light. Something that would make him hate me less. But nothing came to mind, and I was losing circulation to my hands. I started to pull my arms out from under him, but he leaned further, pressing more weight on me so I couldn't escape.

"I would like an answer." He insisted. He didn't sound as angry anymore, so I risked looking back at him. "Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry." I said, and of course I meant it. "I just - I thought..." I shook my head. "I don't want you to be with her anymore."

There was some silence, and he looked slightly shocked.  
"Why?" He asked incredulously.

"Because she's not in love with you."

He sat up, lessening the pressure on my torso.  
"Of course she is." He said, like there was no question. "How would you know?"

"Because she wouldn't be acting like she does if she were."

"Acting...how?"

"She would...you know." I gave an explosive sigh. "She would think about you all the time. She would do unexpected, nice things for you. She'd find ways to see you, even if it were only for a moment." I paused, knowing this last one would be the most painful. "She would return your 'I love you's, Yugi."

Yugi moved his knees off of my arms, freeing my constricted vessels to again deliver blood to my hands. I stayed where I was as they prickled. He sat there, looking at me with a face much softer than the one he'd come into my room with. Finally, he asked, "How do you know she doesn't already do all that?"

"I can tell when I see you two together, or when I hear you on the phone with her."

Yugi leaned close again, but not to hurt me like before.  
"Why do you even care?"

Before I could stop myself, I lifted a hand up to his face, tucking his hair behind his ear. It was smooth. "Because I don't want you to get hurt." I said. "I want you to be happy." He shifted, and I was way aware of how he was pressed against my body - but it was the reminder I needed. I dropped my hand away from him as if I were burned. "You're my brother." I said in a tougher tone. He licked his lips, and I shut my eyes to stop my wild train of thoughts. _'Get a hold of yourself.'_

"Are you planning on getting off of me any time soon?" I asked sardonically after another moment. He was quiet, and I opened my eyes to see that he was looking at me like I had just spoken a foreign language. Being this tantalizingly close to him in silence made my heart feel like it was breaking all over the place. Again. I could feel it pulling me down into a bottomless pit, the silence telling me to just fall and fall and fall.

I reached up and tugged on his ear gently, trying to get his attention. He mistook my tugging as a beckoning, though, and brought his face much closer to mine. I jerked back into the mattress, and the movement caused my hips to press up into him. To my surprise - and arousal - his cheeks dusted pink at the contact.

"I'm sorry." I said, voice thin with my effort to remain still. I couldn't risk it - not even my head. His face was so near mine, it was taking all of my willpower to not take his face in my hands and drag him to me. Breathe him into my lungs. Dilute him with my scent. Scatter every thought of _brother_ from his mind, and...and... What was I thinking? I couldn't.

"I won't do it again." I said. I needed him off of me. I needed space. I had a lot of control, but there was a limit. "I'll be good."

He still looked bewildered.  
"Are you sure?"

"Cross my heart." I promised, staring at him with sincerity.

Suddenly, he ducked his head and kissed me. Closed mouth, and very soft, but oh-so sweet. I ripped my lips from him, gasping.  
"Why did you do that?" I asked, heart thudding heavily in my chest. We haven't given each other kisses since we were young.

"You looked like you wanted it." He said simply. "I'm trying to be a good brother."

"There was never a question of you being a bad one." I replied, still struck by his odd gesture.

He held my gaze as he took my hands and held them down above my head. Something in his look was different, but I couldn't place what. I swallowed, nervous, and attempted to look away - but my eye was always drawn back to those jewel-like eyes. He gazed back at me like he could see inside my head, like he, somehow, understood. _'What are you thinking, Yugi?'_ I wondered, trying to figure out what was going on between us. He let go of my hands and unbuttoned the top button of my black work shirt. I instinctively grabbed his wrists to stop him.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, my voice unable to go any louder than a wisp.

"Not being a weenie." He said, serious. He held my hands above me again.

"Well, go do that with someone else!" I hissed.

"Really? Why?" He asked, but I knew he wasn't actually looking for an answer. It was more of a statement. His fingers slid from my hands, over my wrists, and down along my arms until they were back on my chest. He loosened the second button, and then the third.

I would like to say that I shoved him off of me at this point, like I would have done to anyone who thought they could undress me without my consent. But Yugi wasn't just anyone. I trusted him. I felt that familiar unease creeping up from my stomach for my own horrible arousal, but I shoved it down. Right now, I wanted nothing more than for Yugi to see my bare skin. To touch me. I wanted him to press his warm hands against my body, no matter how wrong it was.

But, though I was filled with such desire, on the surface I tried to look indignant.  
"I hope you're enjoying yourself." I attempted a sarcastic tone that failed me near the end.

The chuckled he gave me in response made my abdomen tighten. He glanced at me as he unfastened the final button to my shirt and spread my it apart. My dark-skinned chest was on full display. Countless times, we've seen each other without shirts on, but, somehow, it felt so much more intimate. Like he was actually baring my deepest, darkest self, not just my skin. And he wasn't flinching away. He was staring at me, meeting me head-on. I felt an urge to cover myself up, to hide the ugliness inside of me, but before I could, his hands were on my stomach. His fingers traced over my belly button and up to my sternum. I shuddered roughly, knowing I was already erect. And Yugi knew it, too, from where he was sitting.

His index finger brushed against my nipple, and, to my consternation, I arched up as a jolt of fire ripped up my arms and down my chest, running straight to my groin. I've had my nipples touched before, but it never lasted more than a few minutes, and it had not gotten such a physical reaction from me. Not like this. Never like this.

Yugi slid his palms up and over my shoulders, and back down my arms. The look on his face told me he was just as surprised with my reaction as I was, and his audible breath betrayed his own arousal. How far would he take this? How far would I let him? His fingers were back at my chest, coaxing my nipples into hardness. My mouth opened in a silent moan, and I ground my hips against him. Everything I'd ever guessed about Yugi and his sexuality was wrong. In my fantasies, I was always the one submitting Yugi to a sweet torture, only now I found that it was I who was helpless under his soft touch. And I didn't even mind. Apparently, neither did he. Looking down, I could see the outline of Yugi's own erection in his jeans.

"أتيم ,أنت الوطن?" Mom's voice called from downstairs. Yugi and I jerked back into reality, his hands ripping away from my skin. I scooted out from under him, pushing myself to the opposite side of the bed. He looked as guilty as I felt.

"نعم ,أم?" I answered, slightly breathless.

"Come help me put groceries away, please!"

"Okay." I called.

Yugi and I stared at each other in a buzzing silence, and the dark feelings I had pushed down previously started creeping back up, burning my throat with bile. What had I done? My brother... _My brother._ He was my brother! What was I doing? What had I let transpire between us? I furiously started buttoning my shirt with trembling hands, avoiding Yugi's gaze. Hating myself. I blamed myself for the whole thing. Him, I loved deeply, but I couldn't stand the part of me that felt that way.

After seeing that I was not going to speak, Yugi eventually grabbed his cell phone off of the floor, heading to his room. I gripped my hair at the roots, pulling hard. Years of self-control, of forcing myself to behave - _ruined_. Destroyed in one, wild, hot moment of lust. How could I have let this happen?

"What is Yugi up to?" Mom asked, pulling cans of soup from a bag when I got downstairs.

"Not helping," I said in my best snarky tone.

Her eyes shined with mirth.  
"Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Not really." I answered truthfully. Yugi walked into the kitchen, and I busied myself with stacking crackers in the pantry.

"What about you, dear?" Mom asked him.

"Apparently, I'm going out tonight." Yugi said, looking at me pointedly. Without my permission, a smirk overturned my lips.

"Oh? Where to?"

"Wherever Atem decides to take me," He easily said, grabbing the meat and inserting them in the freezer.

"Me?" I asked, innocent.

"Payback for earlier," He nodded, wiggling his phone at me. I simply looked at him. _'Didn't you already get payback for that?'_ I thought ruefully, brows pulling together. _'But...'_ No. I was not going down that road again. It was over and done with. I wasn't ever going to think about what had happened in my bedroom ever again. Nor was I going to play with Yugi's phone again, as long as I lived - cross my heart and hope to die, amen.

Mom smiled at us (in such a bright, oblivious way that it made me feel more guilty, if that was even possible) and grabbed the bag full of shower items before heading to her room. Only quiet was left in her wake, and I spent an absurd amount of time organizing the cheese and deli meat in the fridge.

"I would never use the word 'whatevs', by the way." Yugi said conversationally.

"Did you tell her that it was me?"

"No."

"Good. Don't." I said, looking over my shoulder at him. His back was turned to me, placing some plastic bags under the sink.

"You made me seem like such a jerk." He lamented.

"No, I didn't. I made you play it cool."

"Meddlesome brother." He muttered, but I see his cheeks lift and I knew he was smiling.

"Well...maybe she'll have some more respect for you now." I said, closing the fridge. "Be more open to doing things with you." I leaned my back against it. "You just need more confidence in yourself." Yugi looked at me, oddly serene.

"I know." He said quietly. He then grabbed a cookie out of the jar on the counter and went upstairs.

I stood, rooted to my spot. The look he'd given me was doing something to my skin, making it hot and clammy. I recognized the manner of his gaze; it was the same way I looked at a new book - one I'd never seen before. One that surprised and enraptured me with all it had to say. One full of wonder and happiness and surprising twists.

Again, I was thinking about our encounter in my room - even though I had just swore I wouldn't. He'd gotten the leap on me. Admittedly, I deserved it, but it was odd for Yugi to do something so...so out of character. I was torn between my desires for him. The simple, innocent ones and the messy, down-right devious ones. My heart rate flew just remembering how his body had been on top of mine.

He wasn't the only one who had acted out of the norm. I, too, was slipping. Tearing at my seams. I couldn't keep my charade up forever. This I've always known, some where in the depths of my mind. I just wasn't expecting my cover to fail so quickly. All that self-control, all that time I spent pushing my feelings for him into a hidden, dark corner...it only took a second for all of it to be swept out of place - pulled into the light. My tolerance was high, but something had shifted. Now I knew for sure what he could do to me, what I could feel when I was with him. How good it was. I wanted more. So much more.

And even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn't stop.


	4. Even Cakes Have Tiers

"Okay, turn here." I directed. Yugi blinked at me, startled. And not turning the wheel. "Yugi!" I yelled, tapping my hand against the passenger window. "As in, right here! Right now!"

"I got it, I got it!" He said, tapping the brakes a bit too hard in order to make the turn. "How about giving me more than a five second heads up?"

I settled back in my seat, ignoring his protest.  
"Just keep going down this road. It's one of the houses at the top of the hill."

"Don't you think this is just... I don't know - slightly pathetic?"

"No, it's extremely pathetic." I replied, crossing my arms as I watched the houses go by. "But desperate times call for desperate measures."

"I'm not _desperate_." He said, sounding miffed.

"There's Anzu's car." I said, pointing. "Park right behind her."

The houses out on the country side all looked the same; spacious buildings with plenty yard space for families with kids galore. Yugi parked us behind Anzu's car, like I had instructed, in front of a white house with faded blue shutters and rails. Even from inside the car, we could hear the muffled music coming from the house and lights flashing past the windows - alerting that we had come to the right place. When I opened my door, I could also hear the noise of people in the back yard, laughing at someone performing unnatural, inverted acts on a keg of beer. People were also milling around out front, most with a red cup in their hands, some with cigarettes.

"We should've done something else." Yugi sighed, staring at the house with slight distaste.

"Come on." I muttered. I yanked him forward with me, a hand on his shoulder. "Jou and Mai should be party crashing, too."

His face eased slightly.  
"Well, that makes me feel better."

"Not that you need an invitation for things like these, of course." A feminine voice said from behind us. I turned to see Mai standing a few feet away from us, leaning against the porch railing with a cigarette in her hand.

"Speak of the devil." I said, grinning.

"That's _she-witch_ to you, darling." She said, exhaling a long cloud of smoke.

"Didn't you quit?" Yugi asked.

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

I patted Yugi on the back and headed around the house, keeping my eye out for Jou. I was immediately offered a beer by a short, blonde girl who was wearing the most shocking color of lipstick I had ever seen. Regardless, I accepted the can and pulled the tab off. I heard footsteps behind me and saw that Yugi had arrived.

He tugged on my sleeve nervously.  
"What am I supposed to be doing?"

"Just hang out." I replied, giving him my beer. "Relax and try not to look like a high school student." My evil plan of making Anzu jealous by seeing him with other people and having fun was going to fail if he stood here all night, looking like a weenie. I gave a long sigh and began to walk to the house, only to turn on my heel and shoot him a dark look. "And do _not_ tell mom I gave you alcohol."

"Well, yeah." He said, irritated. "Do you think I'm dumb?"

"Not dumb." I said with a smirk. "Just hopeless."

"Ouch." He said, but there was light in his eyes. To my surprise, he downed the can at once, walked over to the keg, and filled it up again. "Okay. I'm fine." He announced. I shook my head in feigned disappointment and led him into the house, still searching for Jou. And, lo and behold, there he was - dancing like the eccentric loon he was. We made our way through the crowd. A band was currently covering songs from The Cure - very well, too.

"Why don't I know any of these songs?" He yelled to us over the music when we approached.

"Because you listen to crap." I yelled.

"But this song is good, though!"

"Good for you, expanding your horizons." Yugi joked.

"What are you guys doing here?" Jou asked me, giving up on his dancing.

"Yugi's on a recon mission." I replied cryptically.

"Oh?" His amber eyes widened in interest, flickering from Yugi to me again. "Do tell."

"I need Mai to do me a favor." I began, not looking to Yugi - who had been taken into a conversation by a petite girl and a tall, dark eyed man.

"She's her own woman." Jou said, shrugging.

"Yeah, but...you may not like it." I added. We both looked over to Yugi, who caught us staring and shrugged his shoulders as if to say _'what?'_ I pressed my lips together and turned to Jou. "Anzu is here, and I need her to catch Yugi talking to someone really hot." There I went, meddling again.

"You want me to flirt with your brother to make his girlfriend jealous?" Mai asked, coming up behind me.

"Only if it's alright with you and Jou." I clarified.

"Sure." She answered, an evil smile creeping onto her lips. "Jou won't mind, would you?"

"Uh?" Jou blinked. "I suppose not, since it's just a show." He was quiet for a moment, eyes shifting over to hers. _"Right?"_

"Oh, honey!" She enveloped him in her arms. "No man can do it for me but you."

Jou seemed to puff up after that.  
"Of course." He said, rubbing his nose. "I am pretty amazing, after all."

Mai let him go, patting his cheek. My eyes, however, stayed on Yugi. I watched as he talked with a group, looking relaxed. But I knew better; I could see his fingers nervously toying with the can of beer. I suddenly remembered Yugi's hands on my chest, and I felt a jolt somewhere behind my navel. Why was I thinking about that again? More importantly, why had I let him do it? I shivered slightly, and tried to push the thoughts out of my head.

Someone switched the lights in the room off, plunging us into semi-darkness. The dance lights, stage lights, and kitchen light were the only things illuminating the room now. The band started playing more current songs, to Mai's delight. I scanned the rapidly growing crowd for Anzu.

As if on cue, I spotted her behind Miho as they wandered closer to the band's stage. I noticed an unfamiliar man behind them, and, with a hot, angry flash, I saw that Anzu was holding his hand. I no longer felt guilty for what I was planning. I discreetly waved at Mai to get her attention. She looked at me and I gave a little head bob in Anzu's direction. Like a well trained double agent, Mai strode to my brother and took his hand, interlocking their fingers. She gently pulled his head closer so she could whisper something in his ear. Yugi suddenly laughed, blushing and shaking his head.

I turned my eyes to Anzu. She saw Yugi. She saw Yugi with another woman unnecessarily close to him. _Good._ Served her right. Anzu stopped in her tracks and stared, dropping her date's hand as she tried to process what she was seeing.

"Yugi?" I watched her lips form, then she started walking over to us. I gripped my fists tight. It was unbelievable that she could look so confused, shocked, and mad when she'd just been with someone else, as well. I was infuriated.

Yugi saw Anzu storming across the floor, and he pulled away from Mai to meet her halfway. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Anzu's expression said it all. It was almost as if she was castigating Yugi for letting himself out of his cage without permission, and that did nothing to quell my rage. A few more words were exchanged, and then Anzu stomped away. He started to follow. Oh, no. It was time for me to intervene before he did something stupid.

"Where are you going?" I asked, planting myself directly in his path.

"Get out of my way, Atem." He ordered.

"What did she say to you?"

"Why on earth do you need to know?" He snapped. "You told Mai to do that, didn't you? Stop screwing things up for me!" He moved to push past me in the crowd, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me.

"I'm trying," I started, tense, "to _help you."_

"I never asked for your help!" He fumed. "I need her to know that Mai was the one talking to me, and that I don't have any interest in her."

"So what if you were?!" I was so angry, I could've spat on the floor. "So what if it was another woman that you _didn't_ know, and you _were_ interested in her?" Even though Anzu behaved almost exactly how I had predicted, Yugi was not. He was supposed to let her go. Let her be mad. Mai had already treated him better in the past three minutes than Anzu had in months. How could he not see that? He was such a _moron._

He turned again, and I was barely able to keep my grasp on his fingers. If he really wanted to go, then I wouldn't hold him back. But I needed him to understand. To my surprise, he allowed me to restrain him.

"Let me ask you something..." He started, no longer shouting in anger, but still speaking loud enough to be heard over the music. I didn't reply, but I looked at him expectantly. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated, and leaned over so I could hear him. "Why is this so important to you?"

A blunt question deserves a blunt answer, but I floundered my response.  
"You're just...I care about you and..." I gave him an ashamed look. "I just don't want you to..." I paused.

He gave my hand a firm squeeze.  
"You don't want me to what?"

I shook my head. The room was getting hot. I knew what my problem was...jealousy. I was so jealous of Anzu. He was doing everything he could for her...defending her at ever turn, and it was _killing_ me. I could treat him so much better. He'd be happy with me. But it was something that could never come to fruition. Ever. And I had to remind myself that.

"I don't want you to lose your self-worth." I finally said. He cocked his head sideways, giving me a look. In an urgent move, I re-gripped his hand and pulled him in the opposite direction of Anzu, into an adjacent room. I saw the staircase and went for it, hoping the owner of the house wouldn't see us going up to their private area. At the top of the stairs, I found a short hallway and went into the first door that presented itself. Pushing him into the room before me, I closed the door and leaned against it, gathering my thoughts. We were in a bedroom, it seemed. A single lamp illuminated the walls.

"Okay," I began, feeling somewhat guilty. "What I'm trying to say is that you...you're so much more...Ugh!" I rubbed the heel of my hands up my forehead. The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could sort them out properly, like a slow-motion, multi-car pileup of unintended truth: "You're so handsome, Yugi. So, so cute. You're caring and sweet and just an all around good person. You're way more than Anzu deserves." I hugged my waist. "You're better off with someone else who'd treat you like the important treasure you are. I know _I_ would." I clamped my mouth shut, feeling short of breath. I was mortified, already trying to come up with a damage control plan for the Pandora's Box I had already flung open.

"Atem?" He asked.

"السماء مساعدتي." I remarked, covering my mouth with a hand. "I mean, it doesn't take a scientist to figure out why so many women come on to you!" I didn't know if that comment made it all better or worse.

"What does you being attracted to me have to do with anything? How does that give you a licence to dictate my relationships?"

"I never said I was attracted to you." I said, too fast. "Just that you are attractive."

"What's the difference?" He laughed, defiantly crossing his arms.

I clicked my tongue, annoyed. Why was he so... _so difficult?_ "You know what? I give up. Do whatever you want." I opened the door wide. "Go on! Go after your precious girlfriend!" Admittedly, I was reacting like a child, but the frustration of it all was eating me alive. Yugi, however, didn't move. "What? Going to stay here?" I asked. "Fine. _I'll_ leave." I turned on my heel, ready to walk over the threshold, but Yugi abruptly put his hand on the door, slamming it hard and holding it shut. I stood there for a moment, staring at the door right in front of my nose, my back to him.

"Turn around."

"No. It's fine." My voice was wavering, and I took in a deep breath. I would not cry in front of him. I would rather drown myself in acid. "I'll leave you alone."

"Atem, look at me."

"You've made your stance on this clear." I replied. "I'll leave you alone from now on. " I reached out for the door handle, but he put his hand on my shoulder and swung me around, pushing me back against the door. I stared at the wall, biting down on my lower lip. I didn't want to see his face. I wanted to leave.

"I'm not angry." He said, pulling my face forward, fingers on my chin. I could feel my eyes burning, but I forced everything down, locked it all up so nothing could spill out. My entire being felt like a twisted amalgam of emotions that threatened to make me do worse than just blab my mouth off. I knew was meddling. I know I was manipulative. And I wasn't doing these things just because Anzu wasn't right for him. I wasn't doing it all just for his sake. Even I could admit that there was more lying underneath all that.

I had told Yugi previously that he was hopeless... but _I_ was the real hopeless one. When love came, when the arrow struck into my chest, there was no stopping it. And even with all the pain I was feeling, even with all the disgust I felt at myself for it, bleeding for him was a pleasure.

Yugi put his other hand against the door as well, trapping me between his arms. My hands were shaking, and I hoped he couldn't see them. I was feeling the same simultaneous trepidation and arousal I had felt previously that day. I felt so dirty being trapped against the door by him, my mind conjuring up images and thoughts I had no right having about my brother. I bit down on my tongue hard, forcing myself to stop.

"You're right." He suddenly said.

"What?"

"I do deserve better."

That wasn't what I was expecting to hear.  
"What do you mean?" I blinked. "I mean, you do, but what-"

I was interrupted by his mouth pressing against mine. I recoiled in surprise, nearly smashing the back of my head against the door. But he kept his lips attached to mine, simply advancing when I pulled back. His hands left the door's surface and held either side of my face instead. I stood there, knowing what I had to do, but I was unable to push him away. Couldn't force my arms up. Couldn't duck down. I closed my eyes, pressing my mouth back on his, inhaling his breath.

"So, Atem?" He muttered against my lips. "How would you treat me?"

I took in a quivering breath, opening my eyes.  
"I would treat you better." I answered. For once, I was being honest with him.

Obviously, it wasn't a question of whether I would accept his advances or not. I truly don't think I even had a choice. Not that I felt he would take me against my will, but rather that my will was completely dissolved under his spell. The world on the other side of the door was suddenly irrelevant. I didn't care what was right and what was wrong. I just wanted to give Yugi happiness. And I wanted the happiness to come from me.

I placed my hand on the back of Yugi's neck, yanking him closer. He and I, through no deliberate plan or intention of out own, suddenly found ourselves in the throes of a make-out session. My little brother, the guy who would tolerate girls ignoring him just for the privilege of being their second choice, was declaring himself as my alpha male. And I wondered if he knew how much of me was already his. His breath, his warm hands, the way his tongue glided over mine, the way he had me against the door... All of me was in his control. As prideful as I was, I would bend to Yugi's wishes in a heartbeat. I wondered if he knew that... If he knew what he was capable of.

Certainly, I had imagined kissing Yugi like a lover before, only to quickly shut my mind down once the disgust and grief set in. But now that it was actually happening, it seemed silly to me that I ever tried to stop my feelings. It was as natural as any other kiss I had ever given. However, I wasn't expecting it to be so _powerful_. I felt as if the way we were kissing each other could light entire cities. I had kissed many guys before, but none of them had ever made me feel unsure if I would be able to remain standing on my own two legs. Not like how Yugi was doing to me now.

As if he knew that I was losing feeling in my feet, he pressed his body against mine, pinning me against the door. His right hand left my shoulder, moving down for something, and I heard the click of the lock sliding into place. That click may as well have been the switch to my libido. My mind suddenly became very clear. This was actually happening. Yugi wanted what I did, and - _oh, my god_ \- I was ready to give it. My senses went into overdrive, and I could feel every inch of him against me.

I had said that I would treat him better, and at that moment, I wanted to treat him better than any girl he had ever had. I kissed over his jaw, then down his neck, simply wanting to touch my lips to every part of his body. Taste him as a delicacy, savor him like a fine, burgundy wine. He pressed me into the door harder, and I could hear his ragged breath from somewhere above my head as I ducked my head and applied my moist tongue to his collarbone.

His erection was pressing against me, and I bucked my hips against him. Yugi suddenly grabbed my backside and hoisted me up. I let out a surprised squeak when I felt my feet leave the floor. He wedged himself between my thighs, grinding against me, rubbing his groin against my own hardness. I looped my arms around his neck, putting some of my weight on his shoulders with my elbows. His hand slipped up the back of my shirt, and the renewed feel of his hands on my bare skin threatened to push me over the very edge. He thrust his hips upward, stroking against me, and I let out a low moan, letting my head fall to the side as I tried to focus my sight and breathe. He looked at me, and I thought maybe he was surprised that I was enjoying it so much.

My eyes glanced over his shoulder, landing on the bed. I didn't even know to whom it belonged, and I didn't care. He followed my gaze, and immediately knew what I was thinking. We both paused, assessing the weight of this moment. My erection was already wetting the inside of my boxers, Yugi was extremely hard as well, and there was a nice, empty bed in this locked room. Just for our use. I looked at him, swallowing nervously. He traced my lips with his thumb. I watched as sweat dripped down his brow.

There was a sudden rattle of the door knob, and we both jerked back into reality with obnoxious clarity.

There was a knock on the door.  
"Who's in my room?" A voice asked.

I squirmed in protest until Yugi let me slide down, and I quickly took several steps away from him, rubbing my arms. I wasn't cold - in fact, I was burning up. I was full of lust and hate. So ready to jump in bed with Yugi. So disgusted with the side of me that lets myself get into these messes. I avoided Yugi's gaze, turning my back to him.

Yugi grabbed the door knob and unlocked it. "Sorry about that." He said confidently. "We...my brother and I just needed a quiet place to talk."

"Oh, no problem." The guy said, almost apologetically. "Sorry to interrupt you. I just needed to grab my text books for my friend."

"Sure, man." Yugi said as I ducked out of the room. I could feel his eyes following me. "Sorry to have borrowed your room." He quickly said goodbye and followed me down the stairs. I ignored him. I had to lock this memory away, too. I had to forget.

Neither of us felt a need to stay at the party any longer.


	5. Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

For the next few weeks, Yugi and I avoided any mention of what happened that day at the party, and I was extra careful to not let my body touch his in the slightest. I worked long hours at the cafe, placing everything I felt about Yugi on the back burner - which was something I'd gotten pretty good at over the years, as depressing as that sounded. I even went as far as to take what ever overtime that was offered to me. I figured, the more I worked and studied, the less I would think about Yugi. And it worked...for the most part.

I only saw Yugi at short intervals, like in the mornings before he left for school, and late at night, when I had gotten off of work. The nosy part of me desperately wanted to get hold of Yugi's phone and look through it again, to see what was going on between Anzu and him now, but that was impossible. He wouldn't again make the mistake of leaving his phone around for me to peruse. It was bad that I had betrayed his trust, but I made myself feel better when I told myself that something good came from it.

So, I stayed away from Yugi. I didn't think about him too much. Except at night, when everything was silent and dark, and I only had my thoughts for company. As I closed my eyes and lay in that in-between state of awareness and sleep, he was all I could picture. The way his eyes looked up close, how strong his grip on the underside of my thighs had been, how he licked his lips slightly before leaning in... Even asleep - in my dreams - I relieved the thrill of Yugi kissing me and touching me over and over. Right until the sun's rays intruded my room, waking me up - feeling aroused, guilty, and restless.

But at least I had gotten him to see how much better off he was without Anzu...or so I originally thought. But, soon enough, prom weekend came around; the embarrassing formal rite of passage where the beautiful and desired are sharply contrasted with the unpolished and dateless. Yugi had put all his eggs into one basket, and, to my annoyance, he tolerated the wait for Anzu's decision. She agreed to go to prom with him nearly a week after he asked her. Lacking the wisdom or self-respect to be angry at her for leaving him, her _boyfriend,_ waiting, Yugi happily took her to prom.

But I couldn't lie - they looked _stunning_ together. Color coordinated, the two of them stood on the stairs, looking like models. Even his eyes complimented her dress. I stood, watching as parents took photos, with a fake smile. Despair pooling in my stomach. My efforts to boost his confidence had worked, of course, and I should've been proud about that. After all, Anzu could no longer ignore him, because other females were talking to him more than they had before. He wasn't a toy she could keep in her bag, only playing with when she was bored. Pleased as I was about that, I felt queasy knowing, even with the lesson, he was still with her. It's like my schooling had only made him all the more infatuated with Anzu.

I had created a monster.

Mom and I both sighed as we watched the shared limousine pull away from the house; full of beautiful couples, driving off into the sunset to the prom. It was so story-book that I turned my back to the scene, feeling queasy, and walked into the house, trying to stop myself from knocking mom's glass vase onto the floor in my fit of envy.

"Too bad she didn't stick with that kid from the party..." Mom muttered, following me inside. "I was hoping...but ah, ذلك هو ما هو عليه."

I stopped at the foot of the stairs and stared at her.  
"How did you know about that?" I was genuinely impressed.

"Well, I..." She scratched her neck, bashful. "I kind of looked at his phone." My mouth popped open, shocked. Yugi _really_ needed to put a passcode on his cell... Well, at least I knew where my meddlesome streak came from. "I just hope he's still giving serious thought to his university choice." She lamented, heading for the kitchen. I slumped up the steps, freshly depressed. I hadn't even thought about that - it was like another twist of the knife in my side, and I sent a short prayer out into the universe that Yugi wouldn't give up going to Cornell.

I would like to say that I trudged on in my attempt to lure my brother away from Anzu - that I only doubled my efforts in improving his confidence. I would like to say that I triumphed in setting him free. I would like to say, "Mission accomplished, Atem." But I couldn't. The story of my efforts to help him ended there. If anything, I felt it was just a lost cause; what else could I do that I hadn't already? I was stubborn, but I could recognize futility when I saw it. I was terrified that he was going to end up alone and broken, and I couldn't bear to see him like that.

So, I lay in my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest, a lump in my throat. Yugi was out with the girl he loved on a very special night, and I was alone - bitter, and hopeless. Foolish for loving him. I knew I was. So I told myself that, tomorrow, I would start afresh. I would force myself to fall out of love. I would stop trying to rescue Yugi. I would support him as a brother should, no matter how the cards were dealt for him. I would focus on my own problems.

And that was exactly how this story would have ended, except, at that moment, a text message from Mai brought me back to earth.

Mai: "I'm picking you up in five minutes."  
Me: "Why?"  
Mai: "Just be ready."  
Mai: "Wear your swim trunks ;)"

Oh, god. The last time Mai had randomly taken me out without an explanation, I woke up with an ankh tattooed on my hip. A crease formed between my eyebrows; was I in the mood for another, possible, blanked out night? I sighed, staring at my ceiling. Mai was great, but so unpredictable. I rolled upright on my bed and slid off of it, picking through my drawers for my trunks. She didn't tell me where we were going, so I figured I didn't need to dress up.

"This better be good," I warned her later as I fell into the passenger seat of her convertible.

"It will be." She promised.

"Uh-huh." I rolled my eyes. "Where are we going?"

"To Anzu's." She said matter-of-factly.

"What?!" I bristled. _"Why?"_

"Do you remember Valon?"

"Duh." I replied. "He had the hots for you. Except you're with Jou, so he struck out."

"Well, he's been texting me all night from prom. He went without a date and, apparently, prom sucked and he was bored."

"Doesn't it always suck?" I muttered, placing my chin in my hand. Then, louder, "Let me guess: Valon is going to get himself a hot college guy. AKA, me."

"You got it." She sang melodically. "Top marks."

"Since when is he gay?"

"Bisexual, baby." Mai was grinning.

"I don't chase after immature high schoolers." I said, irritated.

"He graduates in three weeks, may I remind you. Same class as Yugi. And he's legal, by the way. He turned nineteen two months ago."

"Mai, I barely know him."

"Since when do you care about that?" She looked at me skeptically. "Did you revert back to being a virgin?"

"What?" I was offended. "It's not like I make a habit of sleeping with random people!"

"But you do sometimes."

I grimaced.  
"Sometimes."

"So this will just just one of those times." She said simply. "After all, when's the last time you've had sex?" I flushed, and she saw it. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

This wouldn't be the first time Mai tried to hook me up with someone and, besides my banter with her, I didn't mind it so much. After all, it _had_ been quite some time since I had fooled around. But I would prefer this little hook up not to be in a place where I would see Yugi and Anzu. But her house was the ideal place for an after party - a large house, complete with a heated pool and hot tub.

Eventually, as Mai wound her way through the city streets, I eased back into my seat, feeling confident. If Yugi could make bad decisions, so could I. Some fun was long overdue. Cars lined the street outside Anzu's house, and Mai found a place to park two blocks away. We trotted down the sidewalk in the warm spring breeze. As we stepped up the porch, a girl suddenly burst out of the door, half running, tears streaming down her face. She barely acknowledged us as she jogged by.

"Looks like a killer party." I observed, being a smart ass. "I hope Yugi is okay."

"Please," Mai shook her head. "If things don't work out with Anzu, he could have any other girl here."

"Yeah, but I honestly don't think he knows that."

"That's a damn shame." She commented, holding the gate to the backyard open for me.

"It really is." I replied, walking toward the noise.


	6. Heaven Ain't Close in a Place Like This

Immediately, I spotted Yugi and Anzu talking in a circle of friends. Mai made a beeline for Jou, and I followed her. Valon was standing there as well, and he smiled when he saw Mai - then his smile widened once he spotted me over her shoulder. In the beginning, we engaged in idle chit-chat. Valon informed us exactly how un-classy the whole dance had actually been.

"I mean - I thought that, since everything was so expensive and formal, there would at least be no...grinding, you know?" He finished, pushing his brown hair back. "It was disappointing, to say the least."

"You said the most." Mai agreed, patting his shoulder.

"Our prom was the same way." Jou assured him, giving my arm a light punch. "But it was still fun."

I smirked at his understatement. I could still vividly remember how Jou had knocked over the punch bowl in his attempts to spike it behind the teacher's back. My eyes wandered over to Yugi's group, curious, and I nearly dropped the soda Valon had gotten me (which I _know_ was spiked with liquor) when I saw he was looking at me. He gave me a puzzled face and shrugged at me, as if to say 'What are you doing here?'

I lifted one shoulder and let it drop, nodding to Mai. Yugi had to know I didn't plan on being here. But he didn't seem to mind that I was, for he smiled brightly before rejoining his conversation. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, so I was sure he hadn't gone swimming. I turned my attention back to Valon and spoke to him like we were old friends, trying to get to know him better. As I predicted, he asked me if I was seeing anyone - to which I said that I wasn't. After that, I let Valon stand close to me, and I let him touch my arm. I even let him get me another drink when my first was finished. I felt comfortable around him, and I could easily see myself hooking up with him. He was fun to talk to. Mai was right; I needed to chill.

Not even ten minutes after Valon had looped his arm over my shoulder, I felt the hair on my neck stand up. I knew someone was staring at me. Against my better judgement, my eyes wandered over to Yugi, and I realized that it was him. He wasn't smiling anymore, but he didn't look angry, either. Yugi looked...just - really _serious_. I swollowed what bit of saliva I had in my mouth, and turned back to my own little group. At that moment, Valon bent his head down and whispered in my ear that I was very sexy. The sudden come on took me by such surprise, I laughed, my hand against his chest. But I didn't mind the way he flirted. I welcomed it.

By my fourth drink, I even stopped wondering what was going on with my brother and Anzu. I was also relaxed enough to wrap my arm around Valon's waist, giving him a small squeeze. We told jokes and laughed at embarrassing high school stories.

But the prickling feeling of the hair on the back of my neck persisted, so I guessed that Yugi was still looking at me. I risked one more look over to him, just to confirm that it was him and not just some creep. Sure enough, my gaze connected with Yugi's. It wasn't a friendly or hostile way, he was just... _staring_. I forced myself to turn away. It wasn't smart for me to keep running back to him. Nothing would ever come out of it. My love was doomed from the very start, and it was time I stopped hurting myself.

"...do you think, Atem?" Mai's voice burst into my senses, and I crashed back to reality.

"Hm?" I wondered, only vaguely aware of the conversation. "Oh, yeah. Of course." I hoped that she had wanted a yes or no answer. She smiled and kept talking to Valon and Jou, so I assumed I had said the right thing.

When I had looked at Yugi, I had noticed that Anzu was gone. And, after twently minutes, it didn't seem like she was returning. My interest was piqued; where did she go? Why wasn't she back? Yugi hadn't seemed too concerned about it. He wasn't looking for her.

Word spread around the party-go'ers that a club in town was admitting 18-year-olds for tonight only, and steadily, the crowd began to thin. As the after party moved on to the next venue, our group decided to sit down on the recently vacated patio furniture. Valon sat down in the seat I was just about to occupy and, when I opened my mouth to give a protest, he grasped my arm and pulled me down on top of him so I was sitting in his lap. I adjusted myself, laughing and enjoying the game. The music was louder here, and the smell of chlorine filled me with the promise of summertime - the promise of better things to come. I leaned back against Valon and felt his breath on my shoulder, and I gave a small shiver. Right on cue, his shorts started tenting and protruded into my rear. Well, _hello._

Valon's hands came to rest on my waist, and I gave an experimental wiggle of my hips. I heard him suck in air between his teeth, and I smirked, turned on and wondering how much of a lap dance I could give him before Jou said something. A shadow fell over us, and I looked up to see Yugi. The group he was in had disbanded, apparently. The smile slipped off of my face. I could see it buried deep in his wide eyes; he knew that I was planning on going home with Valon, and he wasn't going to allow it.

That look from Yugi was like a switch being turned. My body went rigid against Valon's, and I couldn't get myself back into our game. It was over. As Yugi sat down in an adjacent love seat, I moved off of Valon's lap and perched instead on the low table in front of the furniture. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Valon casually toss a pillow on his lap. _'Sorry,'_ I thought, truly feeling bad.

"Where's Anzu?" I asked Yugi. I was dying to hear his answer.

"I don't know." He said without emotion. "But not much of a party host, is she?"

I gave a nervous chuckle at his indifference.  
"Okay...?" I said slowly. "Why don't you seem surprised?"

"She's been flirting with Otogi all night." He said, waving a limp hand. I assumed Otogi was the dark-haired stranger I'd seen her with at the party. "It got so bad that a girl - who I assume was his girlfriend - came and confronted him about it in front of everybody. It was quite the scene."

"Oh!" I smacked my thigh. "Yeah! We saw her leave - she was crying." I tilted my head. "Aren't you...upset? Or angry?"

Yugi shrugged, looking bored.  
"Nah. Prom is over."

"Yeah, but don't you..." I shook my head, confused. "I thought you were..."

"I was. But I'm over it." Yugi gave a small smile. "I told her to go find him. I think it's time we both moved on." My eyebrows shot up involuntarily. I cleared my throat, unable to believe that I had succeeded in my mission to save my brother.

"Wow. Good for you." I bit my lip, leaning closer to him and dropping my voice. "Can I ask why the change of heart?"

He scooted forward on his seat.  
"Can I ask a question in return for yours?" He asked softly.

"You just did." I replied.

He ignored that comment.  
"What is your plan with Valon?"

"My plan is to get laid." I said bluntly. Yugi let out a long breath and shook his head at me. "What?"

"You're not the first one he was flirting with tonight." He informed.

"Am I supposed to be surprised?"

"I think you can do better."

"Oh, listen to this. How rich. You, of all people, are judging my choice of hook up."

"Hey, I'm single." He said. "I can judge whom and whatever I want."

"But just look at his chest." I said, giving Valon a good once-over. "He works out." My eyes brightened mischievously. "And he rides a _motorcycle_."

Yugi suddenly closed the gap between us, whispering in my ear:  
"All because he has a small dick."

I nearly choked on my own spit, the comment was so off hand. I pulled away from Yugi, unsure if I wanted to scold him or laugh. In the end, I simply sounded like a dying animal. A familiar tingling ran up my back, and it was all I could do to stop myself from bumping Yugi's knee with mine. I squeezed my thighs together to control it and reached over to give Yugi a flick on the ear.

"Ow." He said, but he was grinning.

The whole time, Mai and Jou had been whispering privately. She got up and came over to us, sitting down next to me on the table. She spoke in my ear, "If I bail on you to leave with Jou, will you have a ride?"

"No worries." I said out loud. "Yugi will take me home." I could practically hear the wind leave Valon's sails after I said that. I had just ditched him, opting for a ride with my brother. I felt bad; he'd been working hard all night - but, at the same time, I didn't feel _too_ bad, considering he would have left with anyone who would get on his cycle.

"All right, sugar." She said, getting to her feet. "I'll see you later."

"You sure will." I said, waving goodbye.

Valon also stood, making a last-ditch attempt to keep me on the hook.  
"Are you sure I can't give you a ride home?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I said. "I had fun, by the way."

"I did, too." He gave an unexpected smile. "Can we hang out again sometime?"

I pursed my lips, pondering the question.  
"As jerky as I sound, I don't know." I admitted. "Possibly?"

"I'll take it." Valon said, and, to my astonishment, he gave me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his shirt off of the side of the chair. Yugi and I watched him walk around the house. And then we were alone.

"He's a good guy." I remarked.

"Did I ruin your plan for getting laid?" Yugi asked.

"Actually, I think I ruined my shot." I said, standing.

"Well, you did your reputation a favor."

"Thanks, but I don't think there's a single problem with my reputation." I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it at him. He caught it, looking perplexed.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked blatantly, kicking my shoes off onto the concrete. I unbuttoned my pants, fumbling when I realized his eyes were on my fingers. Trying not to blush, I pushed my pants down over my ass, bending down slightly to yank the garment off of each leg. I threw them at him as well before heading over to the pool. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but I could feel him staring at my back as I walked away. I clenched my jaw, knowing that it was wrong of me to be enjoying this secret seduction. I took a quiet breath and leaped into the pool.

"So, you never answered my question." I said after I surfaced in the deep end.

"About what?" He called back.

"About your sudden change of heart with Anzu."

"Let's just say I found something better and we'll keep it at that."

"Oh, really?" I asked, hesitant. Which lady had caught my brothers eye now? Hopefully someone better. "What's the fun in that? Tell big brother all about it."

"It will never happen, so there's not much point." Yugi shook his head. "I'm screwed either way."

"But isn't that your specialty?" I teased, floating on my back. "Chasing after chicks who don't chase after you?" He was quiet, and I swam to the side, hanging on the edge of the pool by my elbows. I was worried that I'd hurt him with my casual comment.

"I suppose it is." He finally said.

"That's a shame." I said, then I changed the subject. "Why don't you swim?" He waved his hand at himself as if to display his lack of pool attire. "Just go nude." I suggested, then immediately shut my mouth, appalled that I had actually said it out loud.

He didn't seem to mind.  
"I'm glad you didn't go home with Valon."

"I was seriously considering it."

"I know. I saw that."

"Doth my ears deceive me?" I cupped my ear. "I detect a note of disdain in that comment."

"I'm just looking out for you." He defended.

"I'm so blessed to have a little brother that cares so much about my chastity." I said in a ridiculously sarcastic tone. "You do realize that I have had sex many a time, yes?"

"Don't remind me."

 _'What is that supposed to mean?'_ I thought. Then, to him, "So? Are you swimming, or do I have to drag you in?"

"I _told_ you I don't have my swim trunks."

I abandoned all pretenses.  
"And _I_ told _you_ that _you_ can go nude."

"Oh, really?" He said. "Take yours off, big shot!"

I was silent. It was one of the naughtiest suggestions I had heard from his mouth.  
"If I do..." I started, slow, "...Will you get in?"

"I'll consider it." He allowed, leaning back in his seat with a slight shit-eating grin. He actually thought I wouldn't do it.

"Is that a yes or no, Yugi?"

"Fine. Sure. I'll swim if you do."

"Okay." The thought of being naked in the pool in front of him sent my libido haywire, pushing all senses of decency out of my mind. I subtly reached down with one hand and worked my shorts off of my hips, baring my tattoo and private flesh. Once I had them off of my legs, I proudly held the blue and green material in the air for him to see. I was completely nude and neck deep in water.

"Oh, my god." He gaped, amazed. He'd been called out; he had no choice but to fulfill his half of the deal. Yugi gave a nervous, ragged sigh and looked around as he stood up, pulling off his shirt and setting it on the table. He reached for the button of his pants, and I watched, riveted. He paused, looking to me. He twirled his finger in the air.

"Oh, whatever!" I exclaimed, reluctantly turning my back to him. As much as I wanted to see him naked, I wasn't going to let on that I did. I was so sorely tempted to turn around and take a peek when I heard his jeans hit the floor, but I was good and respected his wishes. Ten seconds later, I heard heavy footsteps, and water splashed over my head. I spun around, realizing that he had dove into the pool. I let out a small cry when I felt him playfully grab my ankles as he swam underneath, startling me on his way to the other side of the pool. When he surfaced, we just casually gazed at each other. An awkward silence descended over the area, and I floated where I was, reveling in my nakedness.

What was he thinking? Was this all just casual to him? Did he ever wonder about what had happened between us that night at the party? Did he want to forget all about it? My head spun around in answer-less circles. I wished I could read his mind.

"What was good enough to pull you away from Anzu?" I asked, forcing my voice to be louder than just a croak.

"Does it really matter?" He asked, sinking below the surface of the water. He began to swim toward me, and I was suddenly very hyper-aware that I was nude in front of him, despite the fact that it had been my idea and that his vision would be obscured by the shifting water. I thought about covering myself with my hands, but, instead, I swam past him in the opposite direction, assuming the spot he'd just abandoned so we were once again on opposite sides of the pool when he came up.

"I told you that it doesn't matter." He said. "It can't happen."

"Why not?" I pestered. "Why give up Anzu for something so fragile?"

He hung on the edge of the pool and smiled.  
"Someone told me that there were other fish in the sea."

"Ah." I hummed, feeling a strange tightness in my stomach. "Is this someone the same fish you can't have?" He nodded, and I started to carefully swim closer to him. "But you want that fish anyway?" He nodded again. "So you're suck in a pointless love?" He nodded once more, very slowly and seriously this time.

At that moment, the lights and music suddenly went out, leaving us in silence and darkness except the faint, cold illumination of the slivered moon. Words could not convey the quiver I felt in my gut at that moment. I couldn't really see him - my eyes weren't adjusted to the dark - but I kept swimming in his last known direction. As I approached the side of the pool, a scurrying sound on the concrete got my attention.

"Coconut!" A man's voice called from the house. I looked around to see what the commotion was about. "Coco!" He yelled again.

"Hey, Coconut." Yugi whispered to a small silhouette of a dog that was sniffing the side of the pool. The man called out twice more, and the dog didn't respond, finding Yugi and I way more interesting than what was inside the house. The man stood at the door for another moment, before finally acknowledging, "Silly dog." The sliding door opened further as the slippered man came out to retrieve his pet. I found Yugi's arm in the darkness, hissing, "He's coming." In a panic, I tried to put my trunks back on, but accidentally let them slip from my fingers.

"Shit!" I whispered, wondering whether I should stay where I was or dive after them. But I didn't have time. The man's figure was in front of us.

"Coconut, come inside." He said before seeing the faint outline of our heads in the water. "Oh! I'm sorry; I didn't know people were still out here."

"It's okay, Mr. Mazaki." Yugi said smoothly. "We didn't follow the rest of the party uptown."

"Ah, Yugi. Is Anzu with you?"

"No. This is my brother, Atem. We were just taking a dip before we headed home." Anzu's father couldn't see us; this revelation made my muscles release, and I eased myself back to the edge of the pool, trying to keep my body hidden.

"It was a good night for Prom." Mr. Mazaki noted. "You have fun?"

"Yeah, it was nice. I certainly won't forget it."

"Where is Anzu, anyway?"

"Not sure." Yugi answered honestly. "She left a while ago." I reached out and placed my hand against Yugi's forearm under the water.

"Everyone heard about that club and left, huh?"

"Yeah, it was actually kind of funny to see how fast they went."

"Clubs not your thing?"

"No." Yugi said, probably also the truth. Like a true deviant, I ran my fingers over Yugi's arm, trailing over to his back, following his spine downward. I didn't know what Yugi was thinking about my secret little activity, but I couldn't help myself when he was so close to me, hidden in the dark. I wanted to feel his skin under my hands.

I was a terrible person.

"Well, you kids stay as long as you want. I'm heading to bed." He shuffled around. "Want the lights back on?"

"Nah, that's okay. We're leaving soon."

"Alright then." The man waved. "See you, Yugi. Atem."

"Bye, Mr. Mazaki." I said, sounding completely normal in the odd situation. I wrapped my arm around Yugi's waist, fingering the base of his stomach.

"Coconut!" Mr. Mazaki said, and the dog stopped chewing on the corner of the furniture and ran over to his master. "C'mon." As soon as Mr. Mazaki closed the sliding door behind him, Yugi grabbed my waist and shoved me against the side of the pool.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He asked, sounding breathless.

"Are you mad?" I wondered. He shook his head. I took a steadying breath. The alcohol, the darkness, and the nearness of his warm, nude body pushed me over the breaking point. When would I ever have a chance like this again? The possibility of it filled me with hope. Too much hope. "You know, there _are_ a lot of fish in the sea, Yugi." I touched his shoulder, trailing my fingers up to his face. "But there's only one who loves you unconditionally like I do."

Without warning, Yugi's mouth descended on mine, and I spread my legs, allowing his body to nuzzle right up against me. As his erection pressed against mine, it no longer ate at me if it was right or wrong. I wanted him. I knew I would hate myself for it later, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I wanted to be his, even if just for a single night. This was it. After this, I would stop.

How many times have I said that already?

 _'No, this is the last time,'_ I swore. _'This is really the last time.'_ I would let myself have this moment, this single moment where I could touch and kiss him and be something more than just his brother - and then I would force myself to give up and behave. I would stop loving Yugi. We would make out, and that would be that. I would savor it and then let it pass by me, like I should have done years ago. Besides, kissing wouldn't hurt anything, would it?

"Atem, I want you." Yugi murmured, and I ripped away from his lips, startled.

"W-what?"

He grasped my face his his hands and kissed me again and again.  
"I'm going to have sex with you." He announced. "I need you to stop me right now if you don't want me to."

This was beyond my expectations. I never imagined that Yugi wanted me in that way, too.  
"You'll regret it." I said, abandoning all the brotherly acts or words I should have been saying. "You can't possibly want-"

"I do." Yugi's voice was clear. "It's been nagging at me for so long." His hands gripped my hips. "And I know it's wrong and I know we can't, but...but I can't help it. I yearn for you." I felt his hot breath on my earlobe, and I closed my eyes. "Please don't hate me. I'm sorry. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you."

I shivered. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I wrapped my arms over his shoulders, gazing down into his eyes.  
"I could never - _ever_ \- hate you, Yugi." I felt my face feeling uncomfortably tight.

His mouth settled on mine again, hands wandering down my body. I let out a coarse groan as I felt his fingers toy with my entrance, tensing up at the intrusion. It's not that I'd never been on bottom before, but, as Mai had so politely reminded me earlier, I haven't had sex in a while. The pool water suddenly felt cold against my flushed skin. Yugi noticed my constriction, and his other hand moved over to stroke my erection, dicerting my attention. I tossed my head back, mouth working, arching my hips up into his hand. Yugi's finger slid up into me, and I clenched up again, making him stop.

"This won't go over very well if you don't relax." Yugi chided, and I gave a breathless chuckle.

"Give me a moment, will you?" I took in a trembling breath. "It's been a while."

Yugi's jaw dropped with an audible pop.  
"Really? It has?"

I turned face to him.  
"Yeah? Why the tone of surprise?"

"I mean..." My eyes were adjusted enough that I could see his skin darken. "There was a time...when you were with a new guy every night. So I just - I don't know - I assumed that you simply liked to make me jealous."

"You were jealous?"

His bottom lip protruded.  
"Very much so."

It was so absurd. I let out a booming laugh that turned into a low groan as his finger jostled inside me.  
"That wasn't it." I said, trying to stay focused. "I just- _ah!"_ I was cut off as Yugi probbed his finger deeper into me. " _Hm_...yeah, we can talk about it later."

"I want to talk about it now." He said, giving his finger another thrust.

"Seriously?" I whined. Yugi grinned, gently easing a second finger into the hole. I let out a soft cry, bucking my hips slightly. I couldn't tell if my face was soaked from the pool water or my sweat. Yugi's fingers quested up and around, searching. It was the sweetest torture I could have ever imagined. Suddenly, Yugi splayed his fingers out flat, stretching me further. I choked in a silent moan, trying to breath.

"Yugi..." My legs were shaking. "It's fine. I don't care. J-just put it in already...!"

"Hm?" Yugi toyed. He held his erection against mine and ground forward, his fingers ramming into me again. I let out a strangled cry, seeing white spots blossom in my line of vision. He was good.

"D-on't make me beg." I chided, trying to remove my grip on his shoulders.

"Oh?" I could almost feel the wicked grin on his face. "I would like to hear you beg, though."

"I'm going...to hurt you." I warned, chest heaving.

"I don't think you're in any position to threaten me." He stated, accentuating his point by thrusting his fingers again.

"Yugi..." I breathed, giving in far too quickly. "... _Please_..."

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." Yugi joked, removing his fingers. I felt the tip of him press against me, and I tried to remain slack. The head slipped past the barrier, and Yugi gently eased his shaft in little by little. I bit my lip; I had forgotten how much it hurt at first. I felt like my insides were on fire, but I chalked it up to the pool's chemicals, not any wrong-doing by him. After all, I was the one who wanted him to get on with it. My fingers clutched his arms, almost hard enough to bruise. Yugi gave a liquid shiver, and I felt his erection twitch inside me.

"Atem...are you okay?"

I nodded, eyes shut, giving a whine when Yugi pulled back and gave his first, true thrust. I bent back as far as the pool's edge would let me, trying to press him in deeper. Forget good, he was the best. I'd never felt so into the act of sex before. Not like this. I didn't even know such sounds could come from my mouth. I even felt close to tears, my body felt like it was melting away. Yugi was a born lover.

"I ca-" My breath hitched. "It's so...!" His fingers brushed against my chest, catching my nipple, and I jerked against him as electricity surged through me. The shock that I could feel anything from my chest passed through my mind once more, as it had that day in my room. Opening my eyes, I saw that Yugi was watching me, taking in my reaction to what he did. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed at my own responses. I couldn't control myself. But he didn't look put off by it. He actually seemed entranced by me. In that moment, under his gaze, I felt like the most exquisite thing in the world.

The water splashed against our bodies, echoing around the deck. Animal attraction was taking over, and Yugi pumped into me heavily as my arm curled up around the back of his head. His hand left my chest and resumed fondling my own arousal, stroking and teasing the very tip. My breathing was shallow and ragged, and I could feel myself pushing the line. I think it turned him on, though, because the harder I breathed, the harder he thrusted into me. I had never felt my orgasm peak so quickly before, but I wasn't going to hold back. The pleasure ripping through my body was so intense, I _wanted_ it to tear me apart. As soon as I hit the very threshold, I let him know.

"انا قادم...!" I cried out, not even realizing my slip of the tongue. "رب !انا تشعر...جيد جدا!" I was already coming as I said it. My entire, lithe body trembled as he coaxed me into ecstasy with every stroke. I held onto him so tightly, I was afraid I was hurting him.

"Fuck!" He moaned, leaning his head down onto my shoulder. I felt his cock pulse inside me, and his thrusting became jagged as he rode out his own orgasm. He gave a violent shudder. Headlights flashed briefly across the yard as a car pulled into the driveway. I pushed him away from me quickly, my stomach lodging itself somewhere in my throat. Someone was coming.

"Damn - my trunks!" I whispered, peering around at the dark water.

"Where?"

"Somewhere at the bottom." I pointed to the deep end. "Over there." We both swam to th middle of the pool, earnestly looking for any sign of my swimwear. Suddenly, Yugi disappeared under the water in a sleek dive. I stayed where I was, watching as a lone figure opened the gate to the backyard. It was Anzu. No doubt, she had seen Yugi's car still in the driveway and was wondering where he was. With a fresh surge of anxiety, I saw that she was heading right for the pool. Yugi and I had an awkward explanation in our near future. It was hard to believe that just a moment ago I was in the height of pleasure.

Just as her figure approached the pool, I felt the brush of my shorts slipping over my feet, then up my calves to my thighs. I gripped the waistband, pulling them up the rest of the way. Yugi give my leg a squeeze from his place under the surface, and then he was gone, swimming to the other end of the pool.

"Hey, Anzu." I said with fake cheer.

"Atem?" She asked, surprised to hear my voice coming from her pool.

"It's me."

"Where's Yugi?"

"Um, he was here just a moment ago." I lamely stalled, pretending to search around for him. I saw his head come up at the deep end, and I quickly swam to the steps in the shallow, diverting away Anzu's attention.

"Why are you swimming in the dark?"

"You're dad turned off the lights by mistake. He thought everyone was gone. It's okay; we were just leaving." As I talked, I heard a small splash signaling that Yugi had climbed out of the pool. It was dark enough that we couldn't see his bare ass scurry over to his clothes on the table.

"Hey, Anzu. He said as he walked over to us, now wearing his pants and holding his shirt and my clothing in his arm.

"I'm so glad you're still here." He voice seemed thick with emotion, and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between her and the boy-toy. "Listen," she continued, "I'm sorry about the way things played out tonight." She paused, probably expecting Yugi to say something. He didn't.

That was my cue. It was time for me to step away. I didn't know what she was trying to say to Yugi, but I wasn't going stand around and get caught in the middle of it. And I knew that if I opened my mouth, it would do more harm than good. I started to head over to the gate, but Yugi's hand immediately caught my wrist, holding me in place.

"Why are you sorry?" Yugi asked Anzu flatly.

"I just...I feel bad for taking off on you like that. I know you told me too, but I feel guilty for leaving you alone."

"I wasn't alone." He defended, sounding annoyed. "I was with my friends. Where did Otogi go?"

"Can we talk? In private?" She asked, an odd twinge in her tone.

"Don't worry," He rebuffed her subtle way of telling me to take a hike. "Atem already knows about it. You can talk openly." His fingers constricted on my wrist. "Did things not work out between you and him?" I felt my eyes widen a fraction at the cavalier way he had called her out. Yugi truly wasn't standing for the bullshit anymore. He wasn't just saying that he was done with Anzu - he meant it.

"No. I'm just sorry about the way things ended up between you and I." She lifted her hand, touching his shoulder, and I felt the raw, powerful grip of jealousy crush my lungs. Yugi shook his head and took a step away from her, shifting his grip from my wrist to my hand as he did.

"Anzu, don't. We're over."

"You're not even going to give me a chance to explain?" She said, bilious.

"You did have your chance." Yugi reminded her. "And now it's time to move on." He pulled me away with him, leaving her standing alone by the side of the pool.

Yugi opened the locks on his car, and we both slid in in silence. He twisted the key in the ignition with a loud sigh, throwing the gear into reverse. I was half expecting him to regret breaking up with Anzu. I was waiting for the moment he slammed on the brakes and U-turned back to her house. But he never did. We rode in silence, not even the radio filled the empty space.

Eventually, Yugi reached over and gently squeezed my thigh. I jerked back in surprise - I had also been expecting us to slip into our proper relationship. It was beyond my wildest dreams that he would be okay continuing our sordid affair. Joy, hope, disgust all rolled around in the pit of my stomach. Why did something so wrong feel so right? By every sense, I was a disgusting person, but here he was, accepting my flaws. My urge to touch him overwhelmed me, and I found myself setting my hand on top of his, nervous. We stayed like that the entire trip home.

Creeping into my brother's room in the middle of the night while our mom was unaware wasn't something I'd ever done before, or even thought of doing... But, as they say, there's a first time for everything.

* * *

THE END. Okay, so - never before have I hated writing a story...until this one. From chapter one: "I've always wanted to try doing a story like this, but I held back because I, most of the time, do not like the idea of incest. Nevertheless, I'm writing it anyway, just so I can say I tired." And I _did_ gain experience from this...but I can't say I really _enjoyed_ the ride. Writing this was only just bearable because it was Puzzleshipping. Had it been anything else, I would've stopped. In the end, I just reaffirmed to myself that incest is not my thing.

For those of you who liked the story - thank you. For those of you who hated this - well, why did you read it? But, more importantly, I'm sorry I made you suffer. As I said, it was a good experience, and I am glad I gave it a try...but don't expect another story like this from me. Regardless, thank you for reading.


End file.
